Like most schools, we have a public address system, which is used to communicate essential information to students and staff. When I was a kid in this school, it was only used to recite the Pledge of Allegiance en masse every morning, and to summon large groups of people to assemblies.
Not so much anymore.
In addition to the pledge and the assembly call, now the assistant principals use it all-freakin'-day-long to summon miscreants to the office for **ahem** attention. If this isn't bad enough -- and it is, humiliation-wise -- we've got a lot of immigrants and first-generation Americans here, and you'd think someone would take a minute to learn how to say the kids' names right. When I hear the same kid being called down for the fourth time in a day, I have to wonder if the kid is even in school today (and couldn't they have checked that?) or if s/he'd just come if the broadcast last name sounded even remotely familiar.
But then my favorite The Psycho's secretary (AKA, #1 Stooge) gets going on the P.A. She sounds like the Nanny to begin with, which would be okay if this were a sitcom, but it's a high school. (Or ...) Anyway, here are my two favorite announcements of hers:
Mr. Whoever, if you're in the building, please come to the Main Office.
I wonder what she wants him to do if he isn't in the building.
and
A car in the parking lot has their lights on ... followed by the license plate number.
Am I the only one thinks there's something wrong with that? How exactly do we expect the kids to learn to speak English if bad grammar is going to be broadcast for all to hear?
I'm just asking.
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I'm watching The Simpsons
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