This is why I have an online diary and not my own column in Newsweek. Look how perfectly Anna Quindlen said what I was saying yesterday, only a million times better.So here I am typing, in the afternoon with Ellen on, and R is home. Her class is the city is over, and she's not working at her second job until Saturday, and it feels like she's got the week off because all she's doing is working at her regular job. And Wednesday afternoon, the baby comes home. (It's okay; I think my mother was still calling me the baby up until the end, when I was almost 50. Yes, I know it's weird.)
The SCM pulled what was possibly his stupidest move ever this morning. I'll cut out the details, but basically, a former student home on college break asked if he could sit in the library and work and the SCM said sure, logged onto a computer for him, and thought nothing of it. I assumed he was talking to a new substitute -- he buttonholes everyone who comes into the library and harangues them endlessly about nothing -- but it turns out it was someone who had no right to be there and needed to go. Yes, he was a nice kid when he was in school. But we are not a public library. Anyone who is not authorized to be there needs permission from the office and rightly so, and this guy hadn't gotten it, or even asked for it, because the SCM had just said OK. And the only authorized computer users are people who have signed a user agreement and been issued usernames by the school district, and rightly so. But when I told him this guy had to go, he was embarrassed to tell him, because he'd already said he could stay. Aw. Finally he did what he had to, but the guy just went to the office "to tell them he was here" and they told him, of course, that he presented a security risk and had to go. Well, duh. So he went, which was nice of him. It could have turned out very differently.
And then the SCM got all crybaby, which is why I never criticize anything he does; I have no desire to put up with that shit. Remember, we're talking about a nearly 60-year old man here. "Oh, so this is all my fault." Why yes, yes it is. But being a grownup isn't about "my fault", it's about doing the responsible thing. Letting a virtual stranger into school where we are charged with the safety of children is just stupid and unreasonable and irresponsible. I reminded him that this is not about him, just about the issue and doing the right thing.
Why is it that I am never, ever able to say to someone "Yes. You fucked up. Deal with it like a man and get over it, okay?" I don't mean that I'm not capable of it; I am. It just always seems like the counter-productive thing to do. Being all harsh would just have made him whine more. Being all harsh to the Hubs when he was late on Friday would only have made him defensive, and I don't want to deal with that crap, either.
Hmmm. How did I get here?
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Ever so slightly later...
We're having a semi-hypothetical debate here; feel free to chime in. Here goes:
You are the parent of a baby, maybe a year and a half old, sitting in a stroller. You are at some kind of place where children and their parents are gathered, for example, story hour at the library. One of the three year olds there -- presumably you have your own three year old in the throng as well -- has been very rambunctious and his mother has been asked several times to discipline him. Suddenly, the unruly three year old comes over to the stroller and slaps your baby. And you ...?
