You know, when Satan's Minion on Earth retired last year, and a new principal came to the high school, I never would have imagined that things would get worse.
I've brought some of this up before, but here it is again. When I'm at work, I am sad. Yes, there are pleasant moments and amusing moments, but in general, I am sad there. Once again, I'm imagining the torrent of pent up feelings I might unleash one day when I retire, and that's a satisfying fantasy whether I do it or not. But in the meantime ... I don't know. The news of the day today is that they may assign a task to me that is not even secretarial, but which is something that could be assigned to a temp, or to an aide, or to an anybody. Perhaps they won't, but if they can, they will. I feel routinely degraded and humiliated there.
This is how I left there today, and then went to the dentist. The funny thing is, he asked "So how are things at school?" and I told him. It felt wonderful. Actually made me feel better, a little.
The thing is, I miss my dear Colleague terribly. She didn't even retire, as the Chum did, she's just in another office, but we might as well be on different sides of the planet. She is my outlet, my confidante. (Okay, so are you, but you know what I mean.) We have these furtive little desperate conversations, when we can, and that's it. Some email, but not always, because I think when we are home, we both want to block that place out. I know that it's terrible for her, too, not just the missing me as I miss her, but that her job is demanding and unreasonable and often frenetic.
I did go to the gym after the dentist, and I worked out some, but probably not the way I should have. But it was okay. I felt good about going.
Right now? Not as sad as I was, probably because I'm not there, but I don't actually feel very well. Not that this is preventing me from eating, because apparently nothing does that. More on that tomorrow, perhaps. Right now, I've got another piece of Kentucky Fried Crap to push down my gullet.
I'm okay, actually, just venting. (Although I really do feel less than well.) Tomorrow, then.
BTW, The Pit of Ultimate Darkness is a skit by The Kids in the Hall. You can catch it here.
