Don't worry, it's a rhetorical question. As it was when I asked it of the Hubs, first time ever in all these years. Fortunately for him, his mouth was full of food, and after he thoughtfully chewed and swallowed, he gave the only possible answer: "No." Here's why I asked.I'm not comfortable with what I have to wear when I exercise, and since the imaginary gym is actually opening in about a month -- I called them to check -- I'll need something that I can not only wear, but wear in public. I do have a few of those workout-type cropped pants, which I think look like the fashion police are coming after me any minute, sirens blaring, but they are comfortable. They are also not shorts, in which I look as if I am shaped something like Spongebob Squarepants, and they are not long pants, which seem not to exist for anyone under 5'8".
I went to the Sports Authority, having already gone to Kohl's earlier in the day, where they had nothing. But a sporting goods store should have, right? What they had was endless racks of expensive and trendy workout wear in sizes Small, Extra-Small, Petite, and the occasional Medium. Feeling like an elderly elephant, I moved to the less expensive area, where I was looking for an ordinary Champion sports bra -- no luck there, either -- and where I ultimately found another pair of cropped pants, but in navy, and a kind of sleeveless shirt. I wasn't sure of the size, so I got a Large and an Extra-Large. And some off-brand bra.
At home, I discovered that the pants fit, but were beyond shapeless, the bra was a joke, and the tops? Couldn't get the Large down over the girls, and the Extra-Large fit like a sausage casing. Which prompted me to model it for the Hubs and ask the fateful question.
Because although I am a good 30 pounds overweight, I am still small. I am a small person. And what I want to know is, if an Extra-Large fits me like a second skin, what do normal-sized people wear? How can stores sell clothes exclusively for giraffe-tall size ones and twos? I don't get it.
My next step will be the men's department at Target. If you've shopped in men's departments recently, you may have noticed that they don't sell size Small anymore, which of course, would fit me just fine. Which begs the question: where do small men get their clothes? Do clothing manufacturers deny the existence of small men? My brother-in-law goes maybe 5'3", tops. I can't imagine where he gets his shirts, or pants.
The Hubs and I are allegedly going to see Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young tomorrow. For a variety of reasons, this promises to be an Event. More to follow.
