We spent Easter with the family of Hubs, since it is a Christian thing and I am not that. Hubs, by the by, would no longer describe himself as Catholic, nor would his sister. Their parents do go to church weekly, I believe, now that they are old. Doesn't that sound cynical.
I'm not in a generous mood towards them today, not the MIL, the FIL, nor even the SIL, about whom I will say I have never had a negative or unpleasant thought in the 27 or so years that I have known her. Today, I tell you, I am dissapointed in all these people.
I wrote some time ago about how neither the MIL nor the FIL had had the common decency to express sympathy to me when my father died in February. Because they are such salt-of-the-earth, basic American folk, I was surprised at this when it happened. It's not as if they didn't know; Hubs called his folks and his sister that same evening. I've spoken to the folks a few times on the phone since and they never said anything, and his sister nothing at all, even a phone call. I was surprised at this too. I mean, I know she's busy and all, but hey, we're all busy and I've been her sister-in-law for going on 26 years and all it would have taken was one lousy phone call "Oh hi I'm so sorry." So I figured that I'd see all these people for the first time at Easter, and then they'd say something, of course, a kiss on the cheek hello and a whipspered "I'm so sorry."
By now you have certainly guessed the truth, that not one of these people said a f***ing word to me about it, not one of these people I've had a lovely relationship with for years and years, said "I'm sorry," or anything else. I wasn't looking for tears, I was looking for normal human courtesy and acknowledgement of a life-crisis that everyone endures sooner or later and that normal manners dictate that you say something, even if it's someone you work with, and certainly if it's a member of your own family. Am I wrong here?
Here's another odd thing: less than a week after Jack died, I got a card in the mail that said the MIL's sister and husband had made a donation in his name. So not only were they told, they did the right thing. About three weeks after that, maybe four, I got a phone call from the FIL's sister, who lives here in town where I live but we don't see often. She had a) just heard and b) called me immediately to express sympathy, talk for awhile, even shared her memories of her own father's passing. That's what you're supposed to do, folks! She knew!
I can't even come up with a way to process this, and although I'm pissed off, I'm not angry or hurt enough to carry it around with me, at least I don't think so. I guess I just accept that they're not the people I thought they were and I let it go.
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I'm watching morning news
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