Question: What is the worst double-feature I ever saw?
Answer: Before we were married or even engaged, when we still went to the movies, Hubs and I saw a double-feature (that's two movies, for the under 35 set) of Deliverance and A Clockwork Orangee.
It was not advertised as
The most disturbing movies ever made! Together at Last!
or
Maniacs and freaks, this is the double-feature for you!
but it should have been.
For those of you who have escaped these 1970s classics, here's the quick summary: (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!)
In Deliverance, a group of nice suburban white guys, yuppies before such a thing existed, take a little canoe trip down a river. Ronny Cox gets swept into the water and is next -- and last -- seen very, very drowned, and with his arm wrapped back around his head in a real not-compatible-with-human-life sort of way. Ned Beatty gets raped by some backwoods type guys who make him **shudder shudder** squeal like a pig in the process, and then Burt Reynolds saves the day with a high-power bow and arrows.
I don't remember if I still had my eyes open by the end of the movie; probably, my mouth was still agape in horror. I was never comfortable watching Ronny Cox in anything after that, and Ned Beatty -- well, let's not go there. A fine actor, indeed. That visual and auditory image just never goes away.
As for A Clockwork Orange, well, everyone says it's a classic, and maybe I would have appreciated it some if I hadn't just seen Deliverance. The only scene I really remember from the whole movie is when the gang of neo-thugs in white outfits and bowler hats beat an artist-couple to death in their own home with a giant penis. Really, a sculpture of a penis that's maybe three or four feet long.
Yes, I get it, I get it. Isn't symbolism just the greatest thing. I don't need to be hit over the head with it. (hehe)
Malcolm MacDowell, well, he went on to play some other strange parts, especially the one where he was the villain in the Star Trek movie where he tried to kill Patrick Stewart, and since Mr. Stewart is the heartthrob-actor-of-my-dreams, that pretty well sealed it for Malcolm MacDowell. This is all irrelevant, of course, because I saw him in a movie where he beat someone to death with a giant penis.
What on earth made me remember this, after 26+ years, let alone write it down?
Here and there in the world of diarying, there are all kinds of prompts, like the Friday Five, where we are asked questions: What's your favorite food? Do you drink bottled water? What's your favorite book? What's your favorite movie?
I read some set of movie questions not long ago, commented out loud that it was always so hard to pick THE favorite or best anything, and one of my kids was in the room and asked if it would be easier to pick a worst something. Since the topic at hand was movies, I remembered the double feature from hell, and wrote it down on a post-it note where I could see it, and remember one day to write a diary entry about it.
I got sick of looking at it. It said "Icky flicks: Deliverance and Clockwork." It gave me the creeps.
So what's your least favorite movie of all time? Doesn't have to be the worst, just the worst for you. I thank you.
It's a little weird this week, but here's a quick Friday Five:
1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?
I go for the container -- is it a convenient size, shape, does it pump, or what? I would have to go check in the bathroom. Most likely, it's Crest, but it might be Colgate.
2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?
Hmm, this is important to us! For years we used ... see, I can't remember the name, I look for the color on the package in the store. It was blue, it had a baby on it ... double rolls, gotta be double rolls ... anyway, when Jack died and we cleaned out his closets, I inherited about three twelve-packs (or maybe 24, he liked to stock up) of Charmin double rolls, and we liked it, so now we use that.
3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?
I wear almost exclusively Merrell shoes, mocs. They're the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn, they give good supports, and there are no laces to tie! I have a few pair, also a pair of Skecher's sneakers without laces.
4. What brand of soda do you drink?
Don't like soda, mostly. Actually, I don't like cola, so I don't drink that at all. I do like root beer, any brand, and ginger ale, any brand.
5. What brand of gum do you chew?
Don't chew gum much, but when I do I like cinnamon, any brand.
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I'm watching General Hospital with R, who fell asleep
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