a fifty-something under-tall half-deaf school librarian in the jersey suburbs with two grown kids and time on her hands

Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries.

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10.20.2003

4:34 pm

I know you've had enough of this, and so have I. This is what time I finally fell asleep last night: NEVER. I dozed once or twice for a few minutes, but I never actually fell asleep. I saw the clock on every half hour: 12, 12:30, 1, 1:30 ... It's like I'm not human, or something.

Well. Like the characters in The Sirens of Titan, truly one of my all-time favorites, and like everything else by Vonnegut, something of a guide to life, I think I've been grabbed by a chrono-synclastic infundibulum (just maybe) and the problem really is that my body's circadian rythym is from some other planet. Or like Billy Pilgrim, I've come unstuck in time.

Or it could be sleep deprivation. Either way.

I had to go to work today, since I took off Friday to get some sleep, but I already cancelled the therapist tonight since going out driving in a car would not be wise. And I'm taking one of those Ambien tonight, even if I walk off a freaking bridge. This is just nuts. I mean, human beings need to sleep, right? How is it possible that I could lie in bed in a dark room for hours and hours and not fall asleep?

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I'm watching Oprah
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