So we journeyed south yesterday for fake Christmas. The highlights of the day were:
No one went near the computer, but this did not prompt the nephew to speak to anyone, particularly. He watched sports some, and vanished into the garage for a half hour or so, where we speculate he was attempting to build a computer out of spare parts and old bottles.
Either I'm getting older, or the brother-in-law has mellowed, He didn't appear to say anything idiotic, which is certainly a first. As one of the girls said on the way home, he hadn't said anything that made any of was want to burst until we could get in the car and say "Did you hear what Uncle -- said this time!"
The ILs are definitely showing signs of aging. She's beginning to take on that withered look, although still looks good, and I think the holiday preparations are getting harder for her. (She was always really, really good at this.) She made a turkey, looked like a 30 pounder, and this is what she did: put it in a big foil roasting pan, filled the pan with water, and tented the pan with foil. So it's like she steamed it, which I've never heard of before, but maybe it's done that way. (It tasted good, very moist, so it worked.) But the thing was, it was so heavy and full of water and FOIL, dammit, that it was impossible to get out of the oven. It took the MIL supervising, and Hubs and his sister to work it out, and then, draining off some of the liquid, too many hands were involved, and the Hubs scalded his hand with the grease. He called out in pain, his mother said "Did you hurt yourself?" and amazingly, he did not lash out at her with a string of profanity, which heaven knows the girls and I were expecting. (Funny, though, just before the spill, when they were having trouble with it, we did hear the Hubs' sister say with amazement to her mother: "What did you say?" because apparently she had just said "Shit", which no one's ever heard her say before.)
Anyway, the Hubs, with great lashing-out potential at any given moment he feels put upon, one of the great shaping characteristics of our lives here, was delightful yesterday, even injured. He was funny all day, had conversation with the brother-in-law, and even got the giggles in the car on the ride home.
But of course, no Report from the ILs Christmas Front is complete without a gift review. Again, she's getting too old for this, has arthritic knees, and gives gift receipts with everything, which is virtually all going back. I feel bad that she wastes her time shopping when she rarely gets anything right (except the stocking fillers for the kids, which they love) and it all gets undone. This year, not only were the clothes (and jewelry) so unsuited to the people who got them, everything was a size too small. It's as if because we're short, they all assume that we really are dwarves. The Hubs is a very normal 5'10", but this makes him shorter than his father, the brother-in-law, and the nephew, and only an inch or two taller than his sister and niece, so they seem to see him as small too. And they never get that although the girls and I are in the 5'3" range (a bit smaller for K and me, and inch taller for R), we're all packing D or DD cups here, and so a size small isn't stretching over any of our bodies. Once again, it isn't the gift itself that gets me. Sure, I don't like the returning-at-the-mall scene, but it's getting gifts that have so little thought in them that it's like they've never looked at us. Am I guilty of the same thing with them? Of course, I don't know. I do hope not, and I work at not doing that. Hey, maybe they do too. Who knows.
The ILs for some reason like to give each of the four in our generation a food gift. The other three gets nuts from some special peanut place in Virginia. I can't eat nuts, so for the last several years I've gotten a big box of chocolates. Eh. I mentioned this year that I'm not eating chocolates much, and I was curious to see what would result. I got a huge tray of Christmas cookies, like you would get at Costco for an office party. For just me.
I got this tiny purse, which is very cute and I can't imagine possibly ever using. Since I already have a bag problem and more bags than I know what to do with, I guess it goes back.
I didn't get clothes this year, although my sister-in-law did unwrap a pink sweater from her mother. Instead, I got jewelry:
For anyone now thinking, "Gee, that's not the way I pictured Chai at all", you got that right. When -- where -- how -- would I ever wear such things? Again, has she ever looked at me? For reference, I wear very little jewelry, and wear the same few things every day. I like wearing regular stuff, stuff that means something to me, preferably:
A watch, a simple watch. The gold chain was my inheritance from my grandmother; she left so little money, that my mother took us shopping and got us each one special thing that we picked out, and that she paid for with what Grandma had left. I've worn this chain since 1979. Hanging on it now are a little Mickey Mouse outline charm, and of course, my half of my father's wedding ring that my sister and I split when he died in February. The wedding ring I wear was my mother's, which she gave me several years before she died. And the earrings are two very small diamond studs that I wear because I have pierced ears and should wear something, and diamonds are always in good taste. I've worn these for fifteen years or so.
So we took a long ride, Hubs burned his hand, we came home, I'm off to the mall today or tomorrow to descend on Macy's and Lord and Taylor's, two stores where I never shop myself unless they're having a Clinique bonus. I think, for now, that Christmas is actually over.
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I'm watching Golden Girls
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