So I stroll on down the hall from the library to the Ladies Room (as opposed to the Girls Room, where faculty members dare not trespass and who would want to) because, let's face it, I was having one of those now-or-die moments. It was my fondest hope and desire that there would be no other ladies in there, as I can be easily intimidated when it comes to such things, know what I mean?
The first inside door was slightly closed, which it rarely is, so I thought that the track coach, whose biology classroom is just around the corner, was in there changing for her afternoon practice. I see her there many afternoons, and she's the only one who ever closes that door. She's quick, in and out.
Alas, no. There was a substitute standing there, talking on her cell phone, making an appointment of some kind. And talking. And holding.
Speaking of holding �
What's the etiquette here, folks? If I don't want another person in the ladies room with me for sound reasons, I sure don't want whatever I'm doing broadcast on someone's damn cell phone, do I? At one point, I heard her say that she couldn't be called back because she was "at business." A valid expression, I've heard it before. That's when I flushed. Business indeed.
Talking on the cell phone in the bathroom just gets me. They might as well be eating in there, that's how incongruous and revolting it is to me. I'd like to think that when I'm in there, I've got the go-ahead to � well, go ahead. That's what the room is for, no? She couldn't have called from a stairwell, the faculty room, her car? Come on.
Someone needs to step down from a pedestal or a mount or something and hand down the list of cell phone commandments. Until then, I'm thinking these:
- Thou shalt not talk on the cell phone in a public place where it is disturbing to to others.
- Thou shalt turn the ringer off on thy cell phone inside any public building.
- Thou shalt specifically not turn on or talk on thy cell phone in museums, houses of worship, libraries, or during performances of any type, indoor or outdoor.
- Thou shalt always drive with the appropriate number of hands required for this operation. Thou shalt specifically not talk on the cell phone while merging into traffic, parking or un-parking, backing up, or cutting people off.
- Thou shalt not use your cell phone in public restrooms.
- Thou shalt not silently use the cell phone to text message others in situations where thou is expected to be paying polite attention elsewhere, such as when sitting in class.
- Thou shalt not use the cell phone during fire drills or other emergencies. It interferes with emergency radio equipment, has the potential to set off explosives, and interferes with one's ability to follow important instructions.
- Thou shalt not establish musical ringers on the cell phone that are obnoxious and go on forever.
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