Dear LA: I'm a day off, however, I believe the correct response is: I don't need very much right now. Sit down and rest.
Really.
Have we had the Zim's Crack Creme discussion yet? Do you have dry skin? If so, pick up a tube of this substance at once. It turns sandpaper skin into ..., well, skin. Unfortunately, it smells about as repulsive as anything you can think of. Just thought I'd mention it.
And then there's the good old SCM, with whom I'm having little or no patience these days. In one of his quirkier quirks, a subset of the one in which anything that anyone else says must be followed by a personal anecdote from his own life, he felt the need to mention his "ex-wife" today. Three times. It may have been related in some distant way to the conversation the first time he mentioned it, but then I guess it was on his mind, so he had to say it again. And again. Now, he's been married to the current wife for maybe 23 years, and they lived together for years before that. The "ex-wife" was a six month thing when he was 19. (I'm guessing that some girl actually agreed to have sex with him, so he asked her to marry him. That's a guess.) Now he's 56 or 57. Ex-wife just doesn't seem the right word. First wife, maybe. Youthful mistake, maybe. It's just so discordant when he says something like this.
Anyway, it percolated in my head, I guess, for a few hours, and then I got what its actual import was: "Holy crap! He got two women to marry him?"
Enough. Got to go wash the crack creme off. The smell is killing me.
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I'm watching King of Queens
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