a fifty-something under-tall half-deaf school librarian in the jersey suburbs with two grown kids and time on her hands

Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries.

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05.01.2005

3:31 pm

I am simply incapable of not stealing a really fun memey thing. This is from the incomparable golfwidow.

1. My uncle once: nearly drove the whole family off the edge of Mulholland Drive, overlooking Los Angeles, to scare us. It worked.


2. Never in my life: have I lived with a dog.


3. When I was five: I thought there was no one in the world smarter than I was, except possibly my father and grandfather.


4. High School was:never-ending, for me. I work there now.


5. I will never forget: when my children were born.


6. I once met: Alan Alda buying ties in Bloomingdales.


7. There’s this girl I know who: Looks like Marty Feldman.


8. Once, at a bar: Sorry, nothing ever happened to me at a bar.


9. By noon I’m usually: Finished with lunch and ready for a nap.


10. Last night: I was on the phone a lot.


11. If I only had: a dog.


12. Next time I go to church, I: it'll be for a wedding or a funeral mass, because there's no other reason for me to be in a church.


13. Terry Schiavo: had no business being a media circus.


14. When I turn my head left, I see: bookshelves and the TV.


15. When I turn my head right, I see: bookshelves and the radio.


16. You know I’m lying when: I use a very sarcastic tone of voice.


17. What I miss most about the eighties: I could hear out of both ears and eat whatever I wanted.


18. If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be:
    Jessica in The Merchant of Venice. But I'd kind of like to be Propero in The Tempest.


19. By this time next year: I'll be finished paying for the kids' college!


20. A better name for me would be: Obessive Collector Freak.


21. I have a hard time understanding: how people can enjoy being cruel to other people.


22. If I ever go back to school I’ll: it will only be because I've been reincarnated as someone else.


23. You know I like you if: I'm not too shy to talk to you.


24. If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: Jack and Shirl.


25. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens, and Geraldine Ferraro: are all answers to Trivial Pursuit questions.


26. Take my advice, never: avoid going to the doctor when you're not right with no clear cause.


27. My ideal breakfast is: a whole wheat pita pocket, lightly toasted, with cream cheese spread inside and then an egg, over easy, stuffed in on top of it. And coffee.


28. A song I love, but do not have is: Que Sera, Sera


29. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: The Dutch House, a local pub that goes back to about 1760 or so. And the Bump, over which it is required to drive fast.


30. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, and track stars: can all be found in or around my house, except for the track stars.


31. Why won’t anyone: make computers just work, like toasters?


32. If you spend the night at my house, don’t: freak out when the cats crawl on you and whine in your ears from time to time.


33. I’d stop my wedding for: a blizzard. I didn' stop it for over 100 degree heat.


34. The world could do without: Paris Hilton.


35. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: touch a snake.


36. My favorite blonde is: any blonde who's dyed his or her hair red.


37. Paper clips are more useful than: cockroaches.


38. If I do anything well, it’s: errands.


39. And, by the way: I'd like another cup of coffee, please. Make it a vanilla latte.


40. The last time I was drunk, I: wandered through a wedding reception at the hotel I was staying at.
    
    

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I'm watching Starsky and Hutch
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