In the library, after lunch
First, the supervisor of the English department, a woman I love but who is a little, how shall we say, disorganized, got around to mentioning that tomorrow, when freshman library orientation begins, the freshmen are all taking yet another standardized test. So that screws up the orientation schedule, which had to be pushed back and all re-done.
A toilet has overflowed in the boys' room down the hall from the library. They are attacking the problem with what seems to be the world's entire supply of bleach. My eyes are stinging. And the smell, not so good, with or without the bleach.
I had another epiphany of the sort that made me realize that they are never going to consult with me on anything having to do with the new library, which makes me feel totally sucky and useless and pointless. Do they respect the work I do, or not? Do they have any idea that I might have some useful input here? I realized this morning that it's time to submit next year's budget requests -- by the end of the week, they forgot to tell us -- and no one has mentioned anything about all the things we'll need next year to open the new library. I may catch the principal this afternoon; I'll see if he's in. His secretary, whom I will henceforth call Stupid, has no idea.
Furthermore, I'm giving serious, non-petulant thought to giving up running the school website at the end of this year. Okay, some if it is petulant: if they're not interested in what I can offer to the school professionally, why should I put in the time and work on that? On the other hand, if I give it up, what on earth could they give me to do instead next fall when I have no library? Will they even let me give it up? In fact, they make me re-apply for the position each year, which is kind of insulting -- no other positions in the school system have that requirement, other than the school webmasters -- especially considering that I invented the job in the district and wrote the job description; it makes me feel that no matter what I do with the website, they could decide suddenly to give it to someone else just because.
After the faculty meeting yesterday, we had the customary meeting of our union professional association, at which I said something or other and everyone laughed. I will generally always try to say something that people will laugh at, whether I'm talking to the faculty or just to a class. (Or here, I suppose.) I am as far as you can get from ever wanting to be the center of attention, but I have noticed in my life that if I say something funny, people will generally listen to what I'm talking about. So that's what I do. Well, just a little while ago, a fellow staff member, someone I've worked with here for years and years, was passing through the library for something and stopped at my desk and told me how funny I was yesterday, and how she and another colleague had commented to each other about how funny I always am. :] And let me repeat :] I may not want to be the center of attention, but I do enjoy being noticed.
Well, I don't hear banging and clanging in the hallway anymore, and either I'm used to the sewage/bleach smell or they've actually cleaned it up. But the headache remains, only to be enhanced, I'm afraid, by my anticipated conversation with Mr. Nice Guy at 2:00.
Excelsior.Home, 4:30 Well, well, well. I spoke to Mr. Nice Guy, who may be needing a new name here, and pretty much, my fears are all confirmed. The architect wrote the specs on the shelving and such, the Psycho picked out the carpet and colors before she left, and Mr. Nice Guy made the final decisions on furniture. My mission now is to get over this, because I'm feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing. Unless I discover a compelling reason to do otherwise, I will give up the website in June, as well as GSA. Then I'll have three years to go. At that point, it will be well worth it to work someplace else part-time to supplement the pension and just be out of that place. I need to find a way for this to not bother me. At least I have the sense to know that that's what I need to do. It'll probably take a couple of days, anyway, more maybe, but I hope not. It's not worth the energy it's sucking out of me right now. I'm going to walk away some pounds now and then I'm having macaroni and cheese for dinner (not mine, a Jenny meal) and I'm looking forward to that because what's better than macaroni and cheese? Well, I had a couple of nice minutes today, that's better than none. Tomorrow is another day.
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I'm watching Ellen
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