whom I have mentioned before, but I think have never actually written much about. I don't know that I'm going to write much about her now, but it's a very interesting friendship. It's essentially a 100% stress-free relationship with another person, and you know, that doesn't happen so much in life. She's another teacher in my school; we met when we started working on something together about ... oh, I guess it's about 18 years ago. In my world, where best friend means different things depending on who you're talking about, she's my best friend. (My sister is so high above that on the scale that I don't even use the BF designation for her.)She's my best friend, but not in the confidante sense (which is reserved for the Colleague, who works in the library with me). It is simply pleasant to be in her company. We make each other laugh. She is the person on earth who always smiles when she sees me, and listen, that's a great thing. She's very interesting, does all kinds of outdoorsy and athletic things, and is an artist, to boot.
The incompatible aspect of our friendship is that she loves to do social things, and to entertain, and that could not be less me. One of her favorite things is to have six or seven couples in for dinner, or a buffet, or whatever. She likes to cook, cooks dinner for her husband every single night. Also, not so much me. And of course, even though the Chum and the Hubs are quite fond of each other and get along really well when they are together, she just doesn't get him. How can someone not eat meat? Why would someone never want to go out and be with people? (Hey, I don't either; that one's not just him.) She swears she saw him eat cheese dip at her last gathering, and she was just a little smug about it. (BTW, she's extremely good about making stuff he can eat and making sure he knows what's what. Her brother's a vegan, too, as it happens.)
I don't know that I've ever had an actual complaint about her in all the years we've been friends. (Until now, as you might surmise.) She goes away all summer, and we email back and forth, sometimes many times in a day. When she retires at the end of this year, it's going to change my work world considerably. And listen to the totally cool thing she did today: one of her students gave her great LinensandThings coupons, good for this weekend, 25% off your entire purchase -- the kid's parents work there and it's a special employee-give-out-coupons weekend -- and she had two so she gave me one. Now that's a friend. Christmas shopping, here I come.
Anyway, one evening last week I got email from her that she had run into a friend who used to work with us but works elsewhere now, one of the couples we get together with, and they decided that we should all go out to dinner next Wednesday. Wednesday, you ask? Yes. All New Jersey public schools are closed next week on Thursday and Friday for the annual teacher's convention, so, if you're a teacher, the weekend starts on Wednesday next week. The Chum started gathering together couples from our little circle, and emailed me about it.
Let me see now. Among the couples, every single individual is either a teacher or retired, all except one. Who would be, of course, my husband. That would be the same husband who leaves the house for work every morning at 6 AM, and who teaches on Tuesday and Thursday night after his regular job, so he doesn't get home until 10:30 PM, and that after driving an hour each way to get to where he teaches.
I didn't even ask him on this one. I emailed the Chum back and said, Oh, great idea but we won't be able to make it; please go ahead without us. But today, she asked me if I'd discussed it with the Hubs and if we could make it. I guess she just assumed it was us being anti-social.
Uh, no. I never even said I'd discuss it with him, or think about it. Who on earth would want to go out to a social thing that he wouldn't even enjoy, because no doubt it's at a restaurant -- a restaurant this time, not her home -- where he wouldn't even eat anything? Jeez Louise. Get a clue, man. Not everyone is as into what you're into as you are.
I guess if this is my first complaint in 18 years, I've got nothing to complain about. It just seemed a little weird and insensitive to me.
