Chapter One of my family story is here. It's a pdf file, and I really have no idea why it came out this way. There are no pages on the left, only on the right.In fact, I've gotten the bulk of the tidying up of the manuscript done. Remember, I have the advantage here of the thing having been actually written eight years ago. Not to mention the advantage of having a full-time job that requires about 45 minutes of actual working time to be put in each day.
I am very tempted to go off and rant on the job situation, but I'm dealing with it, and ranting will only bring up everything that's wrong and why I shouldn't be dealing with it. If that makes any sense. I can tell you that I continue to enjoy every minute I spend with kids at school, although those minutes are more and more rare. I had classes in the computer lab today -- not for instruction (although they could have used it), just doing a computer-based assignment, and at one point, a boy asked me a question and his teacher told him not to bother me. I know she meant this well, but I begged her to please have as many people talk to me as possible. I love the kids, and if having intelligent, adult-like people to talk to isn't what distinguishes high school teaching from lower grades, I don't know what is.
Which leads to tonight's activity, the last GSA coffee house of the year, and I think, my last one. Ever. My need to never do a club anymore, not put in the time or the energy, is finally winning out over my commitment to GSA. I am still deeply committed to its principles and its continued existence, but it will have to go on without me, and it will. If there's anything 30 years has taught me, it's that no individual is indispensable. My only dread, in fact, is telling my co-advisor, because we work together well, and I will miss that. I'll still be happy to be a consultant, if he needs one, and stand for anything we need to do. But I can't do nights, and I don't want to. I don't want to go to a club meeting one day after school every week next year; I want to go to the gym. I need to do what I need to do.
Are you getting the sense of conflict here?
I don't even know how long I'll last there tonight. I'll pick up the donuts -- eight dozen, for which I do not get re-imbursed -- and bring them over, and after that, staying close to my home bathroom may be the best choice for me. I've already called in for tomorrow, not because I am actually ill -- although you can't imagine how many times in my life I've called in sick and then gotten sick -- but because I need a day away from the dreariness that place has become. I've got things to do in the house, and movies to record. Maybe a book to read; how cool would that be?
Speaking of culture, I got Springsteen's new album off of iTunes this morning, and I'm giving it a mixed review. It's his first cover album ever, and it's all Pete Seeger songs, and let me say, good choice, and his voice is unbelievably well-suited to them. I wasn't wild about the musical arrangements, though. He included a banjo, which was also a good choice, but he should have dumped the orchestrations that are typical Springsteen but not appropriate for Seeger. I'll have to listen to it a bunch more. I should probably bring the iPod and headphones along with me tonight so I don't have to listen to whatever music they're playing at the C.H. It's always way too loud for me, which only aggravates me more, since it necessitates trying to tune out all sounds, which leaves me sitting off in a corner by myself, or out in the hall. Yum, any wonder why I don't want to do this particular duty any more?
