Well, it's true. And in many ways, I think, sums up my week. Because I very specifically laid out my plans for the week, did I not? And did put in there anywhere any of the following:
- K's car will suddenly need new brakes, or at least, new brake components.
- The part for my car will never arrive.
- I will be attacked by a mutant virus, and will spend half the week in the bathroom, and the other half blowing my nose
- After waiting for six months, the library books will come back on a day when I am absent. (See mutant virus, above.)
- I will eat an entire loaf of bread, as opposed to most months of my life where I have not a single slice of bread at all.
(Because the only thing I could reasonably believe would not upset my stomach more was bread, so for days, I ate nothing else. A bit of broth here an there. I am dying for a pizza right about now. But instead, I'm having dinner from the Chinese take-out: vegetable broth with tofu, a little white rice thrown in. Oh, yum.)Anyway, when the Hubs got home last night and I told him the continuing sagas of my car and my gut, he said "You know what they say: obladi oblada." At which point I turned to K and she said "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition." Which I have decided will be my new mantra in life.
In between today's bouts of feeling like death warmed over, I managed a trip to the Giant Jeans Conglomerate, which was not only having some excellent sales, but which was also having a Friends and Family promotion, so I got 30% of everything (almost), including what was already on sale. I believe this is what we call "making out like a bandit." No discount on the gift cards I got for the Hubs' niece/nephew (also mine, of course, but to distinguish them from my sister's kids, the niece and nephews of my heart) or for the two items I got from the Red collection, which profit goes to charity, so no complaint from me there. K's store has no men's department, however, so after R and I cleaned up there, the Sibs and I went to a bigger store out on the highway, since all she needed were gifts for various men in her life. She likewise made out like a total bandit (because we didn't have to be in K's store, just be her friends or family) and I got a sweater for myself in the men's department.
Tomorrow, if I can hack it, K wants to go to yet another branch in a mall nearby, a bigger store than hers and she's looking for something specific her store is already out of, and Target, and then food shopping. I'm being awfully optimistic here, and really, I should have learned last week what happens when I lay out all my plans here. BTW, I've also promised all concerned that if I'm not better by Monday, I will seek medical attention. I'm reluctant to do this, partly because I've already missed so much work recently and partly because OH RIGHT I don't have a car to get to medical attention, but the Sibs says she will take me wherever I need to go. (Somebody remind me of this the next time I bitch about her. She really is a totally excellent sister, and has been for going on 54 years next month. Remind me to tell you how I might have died at two weeks old except for her.)
Ooh, dwarf show coming on in an hour.
