Let me just say, if I haven't said it here before (and I'm sure I have) that I am the least confrontational person now living on the planet.
This means, among other things, that I always think people are going to be mad at me, which bothers me for some reason, and so I'll generally do any and everything to make sure that doesn't happen. This is what makes me such a dishrag good little worker bee. It's what makes me multi-task, so I can be all things to all people. It's what makes me never get mad at anyone myself, and probably why I blew out my blood pressure last week the first time I did get mad at someone in years.
And let me say that I recognize that this is not a mentally healthy way to live and be. It's one of those dysfunctional co-dependent things. And I'm working on it, really. It's taken 50 years so far, but in all fairness, I really didn't understand that this is what I was doing until the last -- ten or so, I guess -- so I got a late start.
This is to say that when I perceive that someone is mad at me I haven't the faintest idea how to respond. Also, as you might guess, I can't tell the difference between "mad at me" -- what a childish phrase -- and disagreement. I perceive everything as "mad at me", which is why I go so far out of my way to avoid confrontation: I can't tell the difference, and (Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad!) I see everything in black and white. You've met them, haven't you? Shirl Black and Jack White?
So then, the thing is, that I'm wallowing in dysfunction here, but despite that, I am really very very sorry if anything I said anywhere has been interpreted to mean any sort of confrontational thing, since I wouldn't do that even if I could recognize that I was doing it. Even so, I just turned on my Comments and set it all up, since I just figured out how, and that notes page always looks so crappy, so go ahead, comment. I can take it. (And I have a bridge ...)
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I'm watching Golden Girls
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