What is it that makes some people think that unless you're them, there's something wrong?
I'm not even talking about the obvious things, like bigots and such. Here's what I'm thinking about:
For some time, as I have mentioned, things were not 100% between the Sibs and me, except I really wasn't aware of it. I just thought she was going through one of her phases; she's done it before, and they always pass. It wasn't, but she had an epiphany last summer, and now we are as close as we ever were, or better, and it's really a wonderful thing.
Unfortunately, she met and married The Keeper during this extended period of being somewhat on the outs. I don't know if that accounts for his past attitude towards me or not. He is very very happy to have a good marriage, and to be married to someone he totally loves and has since he was a kid. He seems to feel that a good marriage is one in which the husband and the wife do everything together, and to do otherwise means it's not a good marriage.
This means a whole bunch of things. First, since the Hubs and I have always had that independent streak in common, he thinks this makes us dysfunctional. Not that we aren't, but not because of this and not because he -- The Keeper -- thinks so. It also means that he thinks the time that Sibs wants to spend with me is a dysfunctional thing. He doesn't get it that sisters do things together.
He doesn't get it. He can't seem to get it.
Even though we were not at our best when they got together, Sibs did make it clear to him that she and I were extremely important to each other. He says that, at that time, he tried very hard to be my friend, but that I was not receptive to him.
Let me explain this guy. He's like Robin Williams on uppers, but he's not funny. He's serious, pretty much all the time. But he's incredibly enthusiastic about everything. Here's an example: once he bought a shirt and one of the buttons was misplaced. He can't believe it! How could that happen? Don't they have quality control in that factory? Ad infinitum. Ad nauseum. He's not angry, he's fascinated. He's excited. It's really exhausting to be with him.
Anyway, I wanted to like him, because he loves my sister and he makes her happy. I do like him, actually. And I'm friendly to him. I'm just not his level of friendly to him. I wouldn't know how to be. I only know how to be me.
But now that Sibs and I are good again, and The Keeper is over the crisis of her going to the U.K with me to visit R -- she's going -- he has decided to be my best buddy. Again, a little disconcerting. Here's a funny thing he mentioned to the Sibs, who of course told me:
When they were first married, and he was on leave from work for a while, he tried very hard to be friendly with me. One day, he came to visit me at work but I didn't seem at all happy to see him.
Indeed. It freaked me the hell out. Here I am, working in a high school with new security measures and for a known Psycho, and Mr. Happy breezes right in and is suddenly standing there in front of my desk, having approached noiselessly. Let me repeat, it freaked me the hell out. I did not interpret this is as friendly. I interpreted it as creepy.
But he thinks it means I didn't want to be his friend. (Yes, folks. He's a man four.) In other words, I didn't perceive the situation exactly as he did, therefore, there must be something wrong. With me.
People are just so f--ing weird.
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I'm watching Will & Grace
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So ... - 12.19.2006
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