... is me. Somehow, I must be broacasting a signal that says "Yes! I'm a schmuck! Call me! Make me miserable!"
On Wednesday, I had a stressful incident, which was "resolved", I thought, satisfactorily. I thought so because the I was finally able to reach the person in question on the phone and "talk it out." In other words, we talked for an hour and a half. Mostly, she talked. She sounded very hungry for conversation. This is someone I worked with years ago (have I explained this already? I couldn't find it) who was generally very abrasive, although I always got along well with her. (She was in my department.) She has two children who are severely chronically ill, and she has had to fight the school system for them all of their lives. I give her great points for this, and her abrasiveness actually makes her quite good at it. Her older child is coming into the high school this year, and I've already made it clear that the kid can come to us when she needs a place to chill, that we'll do anything for the kid, and so on. But the Psycho is trying to muddy the waters of getting the kid the real support she needs in school -- what a surprise -- and so now the kid's mother, I think, is looking for someone on the inside, so to speak, that she can basically pump for information. She's picked me. I don't want to play this game, but I will listen to her and offer very little, other than what I can personally do for the kid. Anyway, so I was on the phone with her for all this time Wednesday, and ended with "Oh sure, you can call me whenever." SCHMUCK! She called again Thursday at 9:30 pm. She asked "Are you busy?" I said "Well, I'm in bed." And today she emailed already. I'm in for it.
And then this morning ... well, now I'm not only a schmuck, I'm a stupid schmuck. The phone rang. The caller I.D. says "Illinois" and a phone number. And I actually said out loud "Hey, I don't know anyone in Illinois." And then I answered the phone. Duh.
I have a cousin who lives outside of Chicago, which I totally forgot because I want to. This is a first cousin a few months older than my sister. She was a mean, unpleasant child who was raised by mean, unpleasant parents. (My father's sister -- whom he didn't speak to for the last 40 years of their lives -- and her husband.) Her parents were just awful, hit her hard (even in days when we were all spanked), belittled her constantly, fueled her aggression and mean spirit. She was constantly being compared to my sister: Why aren't you a little lady, like [Sibs]? Why are you such a fat pig? Look how thin [Sibs] is! (Both parents were heavy, by the way.) Nasty nasty people. She would retaliate when the grownups weren't looking by terrorizing the Sibs, who was a frail little wisp. I particularly remember her once trying to smother her when I was about four, so they were eight or nine.
We have had no adult relationship with this cousin, which is fine by us. She lives far away, which is also fine by us. But every so often, she calls. She thinks she has a common bond with the Sibs, because of their age, probably, but the Sibs has the sense not to answer the phone when she calls. Today she got me, because I am -- see above -- a schmuck.
I do not like her, Sam I Am. When she does call, she only talks about herself. She went on for ten minutes about the details of a real estate deal she's involved in! This is what you call an estranged cousin for? I told her I wasn't feeling well, since I did throw out my back this morning, and she kept on going. I told her that I had taken a muscle relaxer (a fib) and that I was all spaced out. Didn't stop her. She managed to work into the conversation what a terrible person her brother is -- he's the only normal one -- but by this time I was ready to slit a wrist. Finally, K woke up and came into the room and I used her as my excuse to get off.
What's wrong with me? I called the Sibs right away and she took my call, having already not picked up her call from Illinois this morning, and I told her what happened. "Now," she said, "do you understand why you have caller I.D.?"
Yes. Yes I do.
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I'm watching nothing
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Sweet Sorrow - 06.12.2007
So ... - 12.19.2006
Christmastime Is Near - 12.18.2006
Fifteen Years - 12.17.2006
A Message From Our Sponsor - 12.16.2006
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