I've said it before: oy.
This tale of woe began yesterday morning, when the Sibs asked if I would bring her The Collected Papers of Jack and Shirl to look over. These odd items (including furniture receipts, their parents' citizenship papers and marriage certificates, as infinitum) fell to me when Jack died. Anything of sentimental/archival value went wherever it went with the understanding that any of us might ask to see them or even borrow them for awhile at any time. (Niece, for example, has all of Shirl's pictures.) Okay. I put it all in a box and brought it to the Sibs when we met for lunch.
Cut to 10:30 last night. Like every other night this week, K and I were watching the convention. I'm a big fan of Max Cleland, and always have been, and I settled in to enjoy watching Kerry, when something he said reminded me of some piece of memorabilia in Jack's Army scrapbook. (It was a very service-themed evening at the convention, no?) And suddenly it hit me that I had forgotten to put the scrapbook in the box with all the other papers for the Sibs to look at.
And then it really hit me, hard: SHIT! WHERE'S THE SCRAPBOOK? It wasn't with all the other stuff; where is it? This thing is really a major family icon. During the war, Jack sent home pictures, letters, postcards, maps, all kinds of stuff, and Shirl put it all in a leather scrapbook, which all of us would look over from time to time, children, grandchildren, sons-in-law, and various others. WHERE THE HELL IS THE SCRAPBOOK???
It really distracted me from the rest of the speech, since all I wanted to do was tear the house apart looking for it. Had I lent it to the Sibs before? Did she have it? I would have called her right then, except it was so late. (It never occurred to me that she was watching the speech too, and was certainly awake.) It was on my mind, and was the first thought in my head when I woke up this morning. But it was too early to call her then.
I went to therapy this morning, and told her how freaked out I was over this, and that I hoped my sister did have it, but ... worse: what if she had given it to one of her kids? How would I get it back? You see ...
It was the only possession we had to debate over. Jack had previously promised it to me as well as to my nephew J2. He already has Jack's dogtags, and has been wearing them since he was a kid. He said he wanted the scrapbook. The Sibs made the final decision, and she made it in my favor. We had already agreed that everything was really ours first, and then went to the grandchildren if we said so.
Why did I think she might have borrowed the scrapbook and then given it to J2? Only because I thought if she had it in the house and he saw it there and asked for it, she wouldn't have refused. She would have figured that I'd forget or she'd face the music later.
I couldn't get her on the phone all day. I was going nuts. I finally did get her around five, and it turned out that
- Something in Kerry's speech reminded her of the scrapbook and she almost called me when the speech was over to tell me about it.
- She does indeed have it, although it's in a closet she can't get to right now (the painter's there) but she knows where it is and it's safe.
- She does not, sadly, have the gun.
Oh, did I leave that out? Along with the scrapbook, I acquired a luger which Jack came to own when his unit took over a just-abandoned German airfield. He found the gun in the commandant's desk, which had just become his desk. It had never been fired, was in perfect condition, and was in a leather holster.
After the war, it was required that all such weapons be turned it to some agency to be disarmed. Somehow they lost track of it, and it even became a prop in some TV show called, I think "Your FBI in Action," but then someone from the government tracked Jack down and gave it back to him (what they were supposed to have done after it was disarmed) and gave its TV history. It's a helluva thing, a real gun, but with the empty clip permanently soddered into place and the barrel all filled up and sealed.
It must be here somewhere. It's probably in the safest place I could think of for it, which could be anywhere in the house. It's not in my underwear drawer. So now I'm out of guesses. But I'm sure it's here. Just to be sure, the Sibs is going to ask J2 if he has it, but I don't think so. (Lest anyone think he got gypped, he did get Jack's Bronze Star, along with the dogtags.)
I'm less worked up now, at least. I'll find the gun. It was the possible loss of the scrapbook that freaked me out. So, was it a good speech? Go Kerry! Woo hoo!
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I'm watching Roseanne
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