So I�m sitting here at my desk in libraryland wondering why Word suddenly looks all wonky and unmargined, and a business teacher of relatively youthful mien comes in and tells me that he has group projects going on in his class (which I know for a fact meets this period, so who�s with them while he�s here in the library?) and someone from one of the groups who has all the group�s work saved under his name on the school computer network is absent today, and is there any way that I can get into the kid�s files so he -- the teacher -- can look through them and get what he needs?
Holy Violation of Privacy, Batman!
Unless someone shows me a court order and introduces me personally to the judge who issued it, I am NEVER doing that, man. Who the f--- does this guy think he is? Looking into ANYBODY�S computer files, let alone a teacher looking into a student�s? I told him that this was a real slippery slope that I didn�t want to take a step down, and that anyway, since we don�t have the kid�s password, there was no way we could do it. The truth is, I could easily just change his password -- I have the program that does that -- and then we could get in but the kid couldn�t until he got the new password himself. Let me see: this is either
a) a valid use of technology and the professionalism of teaching, or
b) BADBADBADBADBADBADBADBADBADBAD,or
c) A violation of the spirit of the Constitution, as well as possibly several laws.
The answer, my friends, is not a).
I suggested that he call the boy at home, or email him, or whatever. So the whole group will get a day�s extension on the project, which is supposed to be due Monday. Personally, I hate group projects, because even before computers, crap like this always happened. One person either does all the work because s/he�s a control freak, or some poor nebbish gets all the work dumped on him/her. Or everybody gets a low grade because the one person the group counted on for an essential detail didn�t come through. I hate group projects.
Did I mention that I also hate papier-mache, and similar homework projects that must, and can only be done by, parents? (I�m seriously digressing here, but it seemed to lead me here, somehow.) I suppose that group work, at least, generally involves the kids only, which is good, although parents do get involved in homework an awful lot. Anyway, when R was in 2nd or 3rd grade, she had the homework assignment of making a papier-mache animal. What the f--? Isn�t that what I sent her to school for? Don�t they have art teachers and all kinds of supplies and stuff? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not a math teacher, and I am not an art teacher, either. Yes, I do know how to papier-mache. I just don�t know how to make an animal. Only god can make an animal. I am not god.
(Quel bizarre rant I�ve stumbled into here.)
I was once involved, it so happens, in a giant papier-mache animal controversy, in which I worked for about two months, daily after school, with a few friends and a small committee, trying to create our school mascot out of the dreaded p-m. It was a ram; we were the T.J. Rams. (That�s Thomas Jefferson Junior High School, no longer existent.) This thing was about the size of ... well, I don�t know, it was big. Maybe three feet high, four or five feet long? Anyway, when we unveiled it before the school we were seriously derided (although not personally, the masses didn't know who had been on the committee). There was such a general outcry at the non-ramlike qualities this item possessed that it was put away somewhere immediately and it was never seen again. Months, I tell you!
So I can p-m, I just can�t produce animal imagery. And there was poor little R, with the need to bring in from home a p-m animal of any sort. So I sucked up my fear and loathing and we made a snake.
Even I could do that. I bent and unbent hangers until they were long and straight and covered them up. I think she painted it fluorescent orange. That was fine by me.
And she was scarred for life by this incident, I tell you. In high school, she excelled in pottery, took it for two years, and could throw a helluva piece on the wheel. But early on, one her assignments was to create an animal sculpture. Uhhhhh ..... Well, at least it wasn�t a group project. And she didn�t have to take it home for me to do, either. Here�s what she did:
It�s ants on a log. I still have it on the shelf behind my desk at work. It was the easiest animal she could think of. The others were sculpting the individual fur hairs on polar bears, but we got ants on log. Heee.
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I'm watching Wings
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