Apparantly my super-hero destiny is as Hearing Aid Woman. Or Listening Device Lady. Two of my colleagues, separately and without each other's knowledge, sought me out today to mine my deep trove of hearing aid knowledge. I didn't know I knew that much. One of them, someone who hangs out in the library and I've known pleasantly for years, is pursuing new options in listening devices for his mother. The other one was more interesting.
There is a teacher in my school who shall be known for reasons I am about to make clear as The Shithead. To say that I hate this guy would be gross overstatement. To say that I dislike him with a white hot intensity would probably be about right. He is an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, about 35 or so I'd guess, and although I knew this basically from the moment he started in my school, I had always heard he was an excellent teacher. I still hear that about him from time to time. But he was not so to my daughter, who is by nature a teacher-pleaser, and as I came to find out, he is simply not nice to any girls in his classes. Boys love him; he talks sports and fishing and they totally bond. He does not get girls. There is nothing at all here of an unpleasant sexual nature regarding either boys or girls; to girls he is simply Severus Snape, but without the redeeming qualities.
When he first started, he was assigned a mentor teacher in his department who happened to be a woman. Interestingly, a woman who looked like a surfer chick, who was nonetheless quite the science teacher. When she asked him once if he needed any help on anything, he told her that he always makes it a practice that when he needs help, he goes to someone who knows, so, no thanks. Some time later that year, he said something similarly condescending to me, although oddly I can't remember the details. A few years later, I wondered if he was taking out his animosity towards me on my kid -- he once said something in class about how people shouldn't think they're smart just because their parents are teachers (get it, get it?) -- but it turned out he was scummy to the other girls, too, one of whose parents even complained. Anyway, I've made it a point to have nothing whatever to do with this jerk, although once in a while I throw him a cheery hello in the hall just to keep him off balance. Which I happened to do this morning.
About an hour later, he showed up to use one of the computers in the library, which he never does because he probably just uses the one in his classroom, which is not used unless he's in it. As I was walking past him, he asked if he could ask me a question.
Moi? What knowledge could I, a mere mortal of the feminine gland, possibly posess that he, master of the universe, would not already know?
Turns out he is nearly deaf in one ear.
So of course I gave him the hearing aid poop, but the other thing was that when he mentioned the various drawbacks to this situation -- bad in crowds, nodding in agreement when people talk even though you really don't know what they said -- he was as happy as a pig in shit. This must be the first time he's ever had somebody understand what he was going through, and he was clearly feeling very validated. He thanked me very much.
Make no mistake, he is still The Shithead, and will continue to be so at every opportunity because that's who he is. Funny though when you can do something nice for your adversaries. Keeps 'em humble.
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I'm watching The Simpsons
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