from here.- I�m waiting:: tap tap tap
- Speak:: Ruff!
- Roger...:: Wilco
- Knock knock:: Who's there?
- Hybrid:: I got nothing here
- Can�t believe my eyes:: or here
- Hooked:: On a feeling
- Pontificate:: the pope
- Slime:: green - you can't do that on television!
- Unwelcome:: guest
Well, then.
We journeyed south to the land of Elderly New Jerseyans (a.k.a. a retirement community near the shore) for Easter brunch with the ILs. And all was relatively fine; they are getting older but I think haven't quite gotten that message yet, and are annoyed with each other when they forget things or are slow to respond. But the true star of the day was the BIL, who was at his height of idiocy. (To recap: he is as good as gold, but is ever wary of people who are out to cheat him; hence, he will cut off his nose to spite his face and doesn't care who knows it, all the while thinking that he is regaling everyone with tales of his brilliance.)
First: He thinks that if his kid, who goes to college out of state, lives off campus and in an apartment, and changes her voting address to that apartment, then she will become a resident of that state and that her tuition will go down. We pointed out that if this were that easy, then everyone would do it and no one would ever pay out of state tuition. He doesn't understand why the school won't make this happen for him, even though the laws of that state forbid it. He doesn't think the residency requirement laws are fair. To him.
Second: He told us a long pointless story about how he scammed (but not really) UPS because something he shipped was damaged and he got paid back for it for the amount he insured it for. Yes, that's right.
Third: And I don't know how we got onto this, but he doesn't lock his car and he also leaves the keys in the car, because that's what's most convenient for him. (At which point, R stood up from the table and said "I'll be right back" as if she was going out to steal his car.) I asked him, so what if his car gets stolen and he tells his insurance company that the car was unlocked with the keys in it and they say to him "What, are you an idiot?" But he laughed, because he thinks this would never make a difference to an insurance company, since if someone locks your car they would just break in and hotwire it and then it would be damaged, as opposed to his car which would be intact (yet gone.) Yes. Again, this is what he believes. That the insurance company will love him because he was thoughtful enough to leave his keys in an unlocked car for a thief to take.
Really, it was all the four of us could do to keep from exploding with laughter until we got back in our car to go home. (Which we did, IMMEDIATELY upon closing our car doors.) Honestly, you never know whether to laugh at him or cry because he's so inane.
And how was your Easter?
