So we went to the SIL's today, which is in northwest New Jersey, out in the sticks. (As opposed to North Jersey, which is the suburbs, where I am.) Where she is, there are bears. She saw a bear in the backyard the other day, she said, and it was so cute. I would be, I told her, on the first train out of town. I don't like to go outside and see bunnies in my yard. (Okay, that's an exaggertion; I am not afraid of bunnies. But I am, and correctly, I think, afraid of bears.)We had a pleasant time, although the nephew did not spend much time with us. He "didn't feel well." This was before his mother went to his car to get the cooler for something and found a half-dozen cans of beer in it. He celebrated his 20th birthday the other day, which we all know is not enough of a birthday for beer. But listen, I have girls who didn't much care to drink anyway, so I'm not the one to say anything. I guess it's what kids do, eh? (And I know that my kids did it some; I'm not an idiot. But I think for them it was more a social drink at a party than going out to drink and get drunk.)
As the years went by, my little nuclear group here just grew very close to my sister's, and not as close to my sister-in-law's. Part of this, I'm sure, was that my sister and I lived and raised our children three blocks away from each other, and the SIL lives that 45 minute drive up north. (It used to be 45 minutes over a mountain, but they put in a highway the last few years, so it's down to 30 or so now.) My kids are actually closer in age to the SIL's, and we like them fine; we just don't know them as well. Even so, we generally enjoy the times we see them; I especially like the SIL. But my niece was also very pleasant company today, not goofy as she sometimes is. So that was nice. The only one missing was K, who's down in D.C., and the FIL couldn't seem to get over the fact that she wasn't there. Not that he expected her to come home special for today, but he seemed anxious for us to call her so she could be part of the whole thing, too.
Sometimes I think that the ILs are starting to age rapidly. Then I think that I'm in for a whole other round of elderly parents who need all kinds of support and help. But then I remember that the Hubs was not exactly participatory throughout my parents' illnesses, and so? I guess it will be his turn with his, when the time comes. That makes me sound cold, I think, but I know that my sister is somewhat the same, although her MIL situation is quite different from mine, and her husband was quite devoted to my parents. Even so, there's a feeling that everything there is to be given in that department, by the Sibs and by me, has already been given; we're used up on the elderly parents scene.
Ah well. Time, as always, will tell.
