I'm writing this story today particularly for Jane, since it might amuse her, but it's a story worth telling because it's so weird. Parents are weird people and sometimes do and say weird things. At least I always have.For example, R likes to tell the stories of how she once asked me why, if the Muppets were in so many movies together they didn't seem to know each other from before in each one, and I told her it was because the Muppets were such good actors. As an adult, she wants to know why I didn't just tell her BECAUSE THEY'RE PUPPETS! but my answer made more sense to me, and I thought might provoke a little thinking in her. There was also a store near here called "The Card Stop" and she wanted to know why is wasn't "Shop" and I said it was because they ran out of H's when they printed the sign.
And then there is Moogie. Some people have imaginary friends. I have an imaginary third child. He is my middle child, my only son, whose name is Murgatroyd, but we call him Moogie for short. He lives in the basement. He has never had his own room, has never gotten a window seat in the car. I have never bought him expensive new sneakers, or sent him to summer camp.
Whence Moogie? When R and K were still fairly young -- I'm guessing they were maybe 9 and 6, or thereabouts -- one of them raised the issue about something or other "not being fair." I tried to explain to them that fair did not always mean equal. Parents must make the best decisions for each child based on who that child is and what that child needs, which is not always the same thing for each child. They seemed to need a more concrete example, so this is the one I gave them:
What if we had another child in the family, and he was very, very sick. What if it cost Mommy and Daddy a hundred thousand dollars a year to make sure that this child -- Moogie -- got the medicines and treatments he needed to be well? Would that mean that Mommy and Daddy owed R and K each a hundred thousand dollars, just to make them equal with Moogie? Is that what it would take to be fair? Or would fair just mean that Mommy and Daddy do whatever it takes to keep each child -- R, K, and Moogie -- well and safe each year?
Another example, a Moogie-less one that we used later, was this: if R goes to medical school and it costs $150,000, and K goes to law school and it costs $100,000, do Mommy and Daddy owe K $50,000? The answer is, No damn way. Of course not.
And so, my friends, Moogie does not get designer sneakers because he does not need designer sneakers. In high school, R went to Europe and South America with scouting groups, and later to graduate school in Wales, but graduate school (and undergraduate) were both reasonably priced public universities. K went on one brief, cheap high school trip, but went to a private university and spent a semester abroad, and is now living at home and going to a state school for her graduate work. To each child according to her -- or his -- need.
The parable of Moogie.
